17 minutes to Cromer

24 October 2012, 12:25pm, driving to Miggins’ gymnastics class in Cromer. Miggins and TJ in the back of the car

Pulling out of the driveway

Me:  OK, let’s go… have you got your lunchboxes?

Miggins:  Yep

TJ:  I can’t open mine. I CAN’T OPEN MINE. I CAN’T… It’s open now.

Listening to the radio

TJ:  Where are we going

Me: Gymnastics

Miggins:  My gym

TJ:  Oh. When’s my gym?

Me:  It was yesterday. Yesterday afternoon.

TJ:  Oh. Why do we have our lunches?

Me:  Because the class is at 12:45 so we have to have lunch in the car, on the way.

Miggins:  It’s a makeup class, ‘cos we missed my class last week so I’ve got an extra one

TJ:  An extra one?

Me:  Yes

Miggins:  It’s a makeup, not an extra one. A makeup.

TJ:  Oh…. I can’t find my spoon. Where’s my spoon. WHERE’S MY SPOON?

Me: It’s…

TJ:  I wanted a pirate on my yogurt, not the one with a dragon on. I like the pirate yogurt. I wish I had the pirate yogurt. I went to your party in my pirate costume didn’t I Miggins?

Miggins:  Yep

TJ:  Where’s my pirate costume? Mummy? Mum?

Me: It’s in your bedroom, with the dressing up stuff.

TJ:  Oh… I wish I had put it on for gym. [to Miggins] can I have your spoon? Do you have a spoon? I can’t find my spoon.

Miggins:  Yep

Hands over the spoon

Silence

Miggins:  Yellow car

TJ:  Yellow car

MIggins:  I saw it first

TJ:  No you didn’t, I saw it too. I did see it. I saw it didn’t I, Mummy? Mummy? Mum? Didn’t I?

Me:  Why don’t you have one point each?

Miggins:  Daddy says it’s half a point if you both see it.

Me:  OK then, half a point each.

Miggins [whispered to TJ]:  I actually saw it first

TJ:  How old are you Mum? Mummy? Mum?

Me:  35. And you don’t need to say ‘Mum’ lots of times, just once…

TJ:  OK mum. Same as Daddy? And Uncle Mark? Mum?

Me:  Yep

TJ:  Oh

Listening to the traffic report on the radio

MIggins:  Do you think we’ll ever have a crash?

Me: Ummm…. Hmmmm… well that’s quite a tricky one to answer. I don’t want to say no, because that might jinx it but I don’t think we will and anyway, we have a really safe car, that’s why we got Duey, because he’s really safe.

TJ:  We love Duey, don’t we mum. Mum?

Miggins:  But we’ll try not to have a crash, won’t we? I mean, well, won’t we?

Me:  Yes, of course, sweets, you musn’t worry about…

TJ:  MY SPOON! I DROPPED IT!

Miggins:  [to TJ] it’s actually my spoon

Me, reaching round to the back of the car, trying to get the spoon off the floor

Miggins:  Mum, just a bit closer, it’s just a bit towards me. No, too far, back. That’s it. You’ve got it. You’ve got it now. Were you actually looking at the road then? Mum?

Me:  Yes, ‘course I was, silly, you have to look at the road all the time when you’re driving

Miggins:  Not when you’re doing the music though, you don’t always then

Listening to the radio

Miggins:  Yellow car

TJ:  Yellow sign

Miggins:  Doesn’t count

TJ:  Does

Miggins:  Doesn’t

TJ:  Does

Miggins:  It’s yellow car, not yellow sign

TJ:  I’m playing yellow sign

Miggins:  Well, that’s not the game, so you can’t have a point

TJ:  Mummy? MUM? Miggins says I can’t have a point. Can I have a point? Can I?

Miggins:  Can he Mummy? Does he get a point for ‘yellow sign’? I don’t think he should get a point. I should, though. Because we were playing yellow car and we had half a point each. And then I said “yellow car” first. So I’m the winner because we’re here now and it starts again on the way home. Doesn’t it? Mum? Mummy?

TJ: Mum? Mummy? Mum?

Parking and turning off the engine

Me:  Come on, you two, let’s go, out you get, we’ll be late…